The Show Must Go On

Reflections on “White” by Frank Ocean

Something I’ve come to find beautiful about life is its fragility. Everything ends, whether we’re ready for the credits to roll or not. When you’re younger, time feels generous — like there will always be more of it for love, for loss, for becoming. I’m only 27, but I’ve already come to understand that tomorrow isn’t promised.

I hope that last line doesn’t sound morbid; the realization has just been sitting with me lately. And for some reason, so has “White” by Frank Ocean. The song has been mentally engraved into my thoughts in a way I can’t quite explain — quiet, almost weightless, but impossible to ignore.

“But I'll forget 23 like I forget 17,
And I forget my first love like you forget a daydream,
And what of all my wild friends and the times I've had with them?,
We'll all fade to gray soon, on the TV station.”

I think there’s something profound about choosing something or someone even when it might not work out in your favor. I’d rather live with the experience, even a fleeting one, rather than sit with the regret of never having tried. To me, that’s another attempt at choosing to live.

A lot of what I take away from “White” is the understanding that so much of what we experience while we’re young will eventually become a story we tell. And I’ve come to love that. I love the idea of looking back on a moment and laughing at my mistakes, or remembering what happened with a quiet smile instead of shame.

For a while, I think I was living in fear of getting my own feelings hurt, and it stifled my experiences. Fear has a way of convincing you that self-protection is safer than possibility. But at the end of the day, it’s still just a feeling — one that can keep you from going after what you want.

It’s becoming more apparent to me that there are things I want to do, people I want to meet, and a life I want to look back on and say was full — even during the seasons when it felt empty. I hope something I’ve said encourages you to keep going. And if it doesn’t, play “White” by Frank Ocean — because the show must go on.